my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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