Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize