Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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