Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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