Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
