So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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