You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
