Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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