I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
