he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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