operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
