Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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