Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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