used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
