eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
3pm strippers are depressing
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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