Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
