We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
