Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize