you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
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We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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