is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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