I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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