Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
