so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize