Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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