I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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