I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
