She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
