He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
