Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
