think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I don't deserve a penis
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
