Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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