the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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