no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
