i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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