You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize
