I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
