He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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