I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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