I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
