Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
