I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
