What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Randomize
