question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
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You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
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ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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