Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
