Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
