Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
