shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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