please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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