you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
