i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
