i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
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i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
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I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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