We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
