All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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