Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
