none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Drunk is not a location!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
