i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
time to smoke my breakfast
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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