I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
she peed on how many people?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
