scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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