I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
