just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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