Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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