it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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