even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
