just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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