For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
