I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
